I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
