Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I still have a little drunk in my system
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
