we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
