I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
