i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
