evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
