I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fuck appropriateness.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
