ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
