People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
