hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize