i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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