Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This house was built for laser tag.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
