I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
home. puking in laundry basket.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
