Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
