you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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