I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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