Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
