Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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