i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
