I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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