Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
