so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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