i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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