Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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