i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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