did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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