I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
