Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my phone needs a breathalizer
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize