ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
