How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
