Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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