omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
