Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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