Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
