I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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