Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize