i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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