Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize