Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is the high leading the old right now
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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