I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
