We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
