I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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