not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
