Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
