Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
