billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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