even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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