She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Mom said you looked used
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
