that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
