We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
