i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
