I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
