haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
