I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
