This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize